I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
