He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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