They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
