i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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