My hand turned me down
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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