what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
