so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize