I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
