Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
