Texts From Last Night

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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"

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  (920): i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism" http://tfl.nu/6eew
  Replies (13) Good night (4487) Bad night (1046)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes

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  (817): Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes http://tfl.nu/2z3z
  Replies (44) Good night (965) Bad night (4272)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.

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  (206): he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him. http://tfl.nu/ufis
  Replies (22) Good night (716) Bad night (4364)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...

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  (630): note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots... http://tfl.nu/3sut
  Replies (14) Good night (4498) Bad night (1408)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL

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  (813): He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL http://tfl.nu/4831
  Replies (56) Good night (1612) Bad night (6128)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time

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  (816): peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time http://tfl.nu/fl0l
  Replies (6) Good night (1920) Bad night (1386)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go

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  (215): i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go http://tfl.nu/3dxd
  Replies (8) Good night (7003) Bad night (990)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.

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  (701): He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon. http://tfl.nu/hvqj
  Replies (5) Good night (1627) Bad night (795)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine

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  (503): Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine http://tfl.nu/w37w
  Replies (6) Good night (2249) Bad night (838)
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  (628): View more from California

  That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.

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  (628): That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM. http://tfl.nu/93q7
  Replies (56) Good night (7054) Bad night (919)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.

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  (519): There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway. http://tfl.nu/ij44
  Replies (10) Good night (1855) Bad night (735)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.

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  (817): Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday. http://tfl.nu/w47f
  Replies (9) Good night (2851) Bad night (815)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.

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  (804): God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things. http://tfl.nu/yy5y
  Replies (11) Good night (2587) Bad night (623)
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  (648): View more from

  Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.

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  (648): Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me. http://tfl.nu/1al0
  Replies (5) Good night (1306) Bad night (613)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???

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  (312): OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY??? http://tfl.nu/50ou
  Replies (4) Good night (861) Bad night (479)

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