Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.

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  (248): It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet. http://tfl.nu/g9yd
  Replies (0) Good night (1481) Bad night (761)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.

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  (413): I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets. http://tfl.nu/8b9j
  Replies (11) Good night (5578) Bad night (1394)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night

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  (416): the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night http://tfl.nu/0qnk
  Replies (77) Good night (7968) Bad night (4611)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.

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  (218): Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there. http://tfl.nu/e7vr
  Replies (8) Good night (1365) Bad night (2397)
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  (716): View more from New York

  come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!

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  (716): come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk! http://tfl.nu/py4j
  Replies (6) Good night (3660) Bad night (1015)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that

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  (407): I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that http://tfl.nu/57uu
  Replies (6) Good night (4414) Bad night (1026)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.

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  (856): I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything. http://tfl.nu/b77d
  Replies (8) Good night (3962) Bad night (904)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children

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  (305): It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children http://tfl.nu/y5x1
  Replies (9) Good night (3005) Bad night (1069)
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  (310): View more from California

  Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide

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  (310): Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide http://tfl.nu/450d
  Replies (7) Good night (2558) Bad night (731)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you

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  (408): I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you http://tfl.nu/72n4
  Replies (15) Good night (2375) Bad night (745)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.

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  (312): my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer. http://tfl.nu/1z92
  Replies (6) Good night (1198) Bad night (586)
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  (619): View more from California

  I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.

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  (619): I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize. http://tfl.nu/w9hf
  Replies (2) Good night (575) Bad night (329)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.

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  (306): I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women. http://tfl.nu/1xbq
  Replies (4) Good night (797) Bad night (357)
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  (818): View more from California

  the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.

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  (818): the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after. http://tfl.nu/qgkf
  Replies (4) Good night (411) Bad night (614)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.

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  (785): Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting. http://tfl.nu/n8lw
  Replies (3) Good night (266) Bad night (715)

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