First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
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I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
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He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.