Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  She looked kinda like Mario Batali?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): She looked kinda like Mario Batali? http://tfl.nu/17rh
  Replies (23) Good night (506) Bad night (2803)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol http://tfl.nu/1jiz
  Replies (21) Good night (1297) Bad night (5157)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine" http://tfl.nu/dcrf
  Replies (23) Good night (1535) Bad night (4426)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy. http://tfl.nu/byhd
  Replies (21) Good night (682) Bad night (6012)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (408): Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same. http://tfl.nu/sgs8
  Replies (41) Good night (6787) Bad night (1270)
• Favorite

  (578): View more from

  drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (578): drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm http://tfl.nu/89pn
  Replies (14) Good night (985) Bad night (6183)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail. http://tfl.nu/6ic6
  Replies (43) Good night (6330) Bad night (1595)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

  (347): View more from New York

  Something to remember me by.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet. (347): Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/ual5
  Replies (6) Good night (2582) Bad night (1916)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (952): I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me. http://tfl.nu/xnge
  Replies (55) Good night (10626) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh http://tfl.nu/1197
  Replies (6) Good night (1602) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy. http://tfl.nu/xqei
  Replies (11) Good night (3527) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter http://tfl.nu/v115
  Replies (2) Good night (1440) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here. http://tfl.nu/g9cl
  Replies (1) Good night (500) Bad night (611)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again http://tfl.nu/w7l0
  Replies (3) Good night (214) Bad night (624)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA. http://tfl.nu/qkjv
  Replies (3) Good night (943) Bad night (462)

Randomize