girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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