Texts From Last Night

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  (702): View more from Nevada

  i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers

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  (702): i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers http://tfl.nu/2g28
  Replies (3) Good night (2723) Bad night (571)
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  (415): View more from California

  JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP

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  (415): JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP http://tfl.nu/adca
  Replies (19) Good night (4116) Bad night (706)
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  (516): View more from New York

  the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal

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  (516): the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal http://tfl.nu/ymjw
  Replies (15) Good night (1263) Bad night (3169)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.

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  (919): My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq. http://tfl.nu/vzq9
  Replies (6) Good night (3709) Bad night (732)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.

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  (480): the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy. http://tfl.nu/p73q
  Replies (17) Good night (5683) Bad night (788)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.

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  (304): He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends. http://tfl.nu/db22
  Replies (7) Good night (1183) Bad night (3489)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...

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  (717): so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody... http://tfl.nu/6y77
  Replies (1) Good night (3238) Bad night (877)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?

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  (727): You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you? http://tfl.nu/l34c
  Replies (31) Good night (3177) Bad night (774)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.

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  (704): Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own. http://tfl.nu/ehgs
  Replies (4) Good night (2755) Bad night (793)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.

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  (807): The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome. http://tfl.nu/ll5l
  Replies (1) Good night (1439) Bad night (510)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.

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  (719): i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please. http://tfl.nu/3lio
  Replies (5) Good night (511) Bad night (894)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.

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  (630): Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger. http://tfl.nu/07lb
  Replies (3) Good night (923) Bad night (429)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.

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  (401): You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe. http://tfl.nu/pz97
  Replies (0) Good night (654) Bad night (358)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.

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  (602): Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP? (602): Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know. http://tfl.nu/k0wt
  Replies (3) Good night (556) Bad night (502)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...

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  (+44): Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout... http://tfl.nu/yqu4
  Replies (3) Good night (324) Bad night (571)

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