I will die if light touches me.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
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I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
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The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.