I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
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Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
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I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...