I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
