everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
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