yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
