I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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