Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize