We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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