Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
