Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
