soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she peed on how many people?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
