Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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