me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
