I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
