Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
