awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
