I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize