How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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