You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
