It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
