it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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