TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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