Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize