super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
