I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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