Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
babies were throwing up all over the place
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
