is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize