I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
