Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
