It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
