After last night, I could never be a politician.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
