Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
