So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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