I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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