If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm like, not good at living.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
