Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
