It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
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