that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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