why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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