You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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