Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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