Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
