If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
they call him Oral-B. enough said
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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