Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
