All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
