moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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