Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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