sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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