please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
