My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Hippo gnu deer
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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