And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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