On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
