we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
